Well here, we are, halfway through February and I suddenly realized I’ve neglected this blog. For months. I’m not sure exactly how time gets away from me so quickly. Just when I think I have a handle on my schedule I am suddenly jolted back to the reality that I’ve missed something. In this case, this blog.
I have three journals going at the moment (yes, three!) and I confess that it’s been a stretch. I did have a fourth but I set that aside temporarily – I hope it’s only temporarily, any way. One is an art journal that I started in January 2015. I had laid it aside as things got pretty intense with a sick and dying father-in-law, my husband’s new job, two healthy and very active grandkids and my own part time job. I had the best of intentions, but then you know what they say about intentions, right?
I came across it (the art journal) the other day. I was organizing some things, and there it was. I pulled it off the shelf just for fun, and looked through it. Actually there wasn’t much to look through as I had completed exactly TWO pages and barely started a third. I had some things cut out and some stencils tucked inside, but still it had been collecting dust on the shelf. For a Very. Long. Time.
It was like holding an accusation or an indictment and I was feeling pretty sad about that, and a little bit guilty. I DO make a conscious effort to create every day; sometimes it’s for two minutes, sometimes for thirty – and on some precious, wonderful, glorious days it can be an hour!! But here I was, confronted with the reality that despite my best intentions, I had let this go for almost a year. A difficult, stretching, painful, stressful year – and the truth is, if I had kept up with it, my year might not have been quite so intense. It might not have been quite so overwhelming.
Some people go for a walk when they are stressed. Some punch pillows or cry. Others go to the gym and workout, or crank up the radio. I create.
Holding that mostly empty journal reminded me that I had really missed out on something good, something that could have helped me process things and something that would have given me something to pour into. Simply put, I missed a great opportunity. For a few minutes, I felt really convicted. I started to close the journal and put it back on the shelf when an idea popped into my head. Before I knew it, I was happily spreading gesso out on the page – and that’s when I realized that while I HAD missed an opportunity, I didn’t have to continue to miss it. I also realized that things come in seasons, and maybe this past year just hadn’t been the right season for this particular creative journal. Maybe it had been “waiting” on the shelf for just the right time and just the right season.
It made me realize that everyday is the right time for new beginnings.